I went to Ikea with my mother to peruse some home improvement options for myself. Ikea is the definitive store for suckers, and I'm a big sucker. I didn't buy what I set out to buy. I did, however, purchase some totally unnecessary, but cool trinkets for my burgeoning kitchen collection. To date, I have only really used one of those trinkets, and I used it once.
I am a big sucker.
In addition to my wonderfully awesome kitchen gear, I purchased a bar of dark swedish chocolate to share with my mother.
It was very rich and very delicious. We didn't even finish half of the bar, and the rest of it sat in the cup holder of my car to endure the 90 degree outdoor weather (likely 110 inside my car) while we endured the rest of our quest to seek the aforementioned options. Not to fret, I positioned the plastic wrapper packaging of this chocolate inside my car's cup holder so that if/when the chocolate should melt, it will remain in the packaging and not spill. I was successful in this endeavor. At the end of the day I put the melted chocolate in the refrigerator to consume at a future event of my choosing.
Fast-forward to today. I'm taking a belated three-day summer vacation from work. Yesterday was all about fun and laziness, and guy-time with a brother. Today my agenda was loaded with errands and self-assigned goals to complete said agenda before the day was over. No pressure, just a way to get things done for a change. This morning, prior to my adventure I decided to take a few nibbles of my dark chocolate sitting in the fridge. I'd previously taken nibbles here and there, as it was no longer a dark chocolate bar, but instead a small mound of chocolate at the bottom of some expertly-strategized plastic packaging. As such, nibbling was really more like gnawing, with the occasional lollipop-esque licking (it's my mound of chocolate after all).
I sat with my delicate delight and gnawed/nibbled off a few bits before hitting the road. I went to four different stores, a gas station, a car wash, my old neighborhood, and a food joint. It was quite the road trip, and I was able to accomplish everything on my agenda for the day. When I arrived back home I happened to glance into the bathroom mirror in passing. To my surprise I realized something wasn't right.
It appeared that I had been too aggressive in my consumption of chocolate earlier in the day. As I sat there and analyzed what I was seeing I began to re-evaluate what happened outside of myself during the last six hours. I recalled all the places I went today and figured during that time I probably encountered 60 or 70 people, including some family. Surely they all saw what I didn't see before but was now aware, yet none of them said anything. I was totally clueless, even oblivious to my predicament, and no one came to my rescue. I tried to remember the looks on the faces I made eye contact with and I remembered the stares, but I just thought that was usual human interaction, but now I wonder.
I began to feel embarrassed, but that was fleeting once I determined it could have been much worse. I'll gladly take chocolate instead of dried blood, goobers and especially boogers. Chocolate is completely acceptable.
Besides, part of me was also happy to lick off the leftovers...
